Indeed

The other day before leaving for work Heidi had left notes for each of the kids in their rooms.  She does this sometimes on days she doesn’t get to see them much, and this particular day she had missed out on some of her normal time with them because of a birthday party we had to go to.  The kids loved it.  Julia had said that she wanted to write a note for Heidi and then promptly forgot about it until about 8:45pm, an hour or so after bedtime.  I was frustrated, having just started a movie and hoping to enjoy a quiet evening.  I got up, retrieved her a piece of paper and a crayon.  She then asked me how to spell various words and we talked about how she could sound out the words she wanted to use and do her very best to spell them.  My movie was paused and I was anxious to get back to it.  She said “I’ll find a book to help me.”  Ok baby, I told her, be good and don’t color on anything except the paper.

Two hours later the movie is over and I head up to bed, stopping to check on the kids.  I walk into Julia’s room expecting to find a note somewhere for me to deliver to Heidi.

 Let me interrupt at this point by saying that currently Julia has the distinction of being a five year old that has to be barricaded into her room.  We’ve resorted to the old baby gate because she absolutely refuses to stay in her room.  No amount of rewards or punishments seems to do the trick.  So the baby gate goes up until she falls asleep and then it comes off.  If she has to potty she calls me and I’ll come up and take her to the potty.  But this is a child who WILL NOT stay put.  And if all she did was head to the playroom and sit quietly with her toys, then it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.  No.  Julia has been found creating wall art, decorating the bathroom with toothpaste, and just in general up to no good.  So the baby gate it is. 

Anyway, when I was in her room, I didn’t see a note, so I assumed she’d given up on the project and I felt horribly, thinking I would help her in the morning so she could write a note for Heidi. 

I closed her door and went into my room only to find a note for Heidi on her nightstand.  Little stinker.  She must have gotten her brother to deliver the note on her behalf.  Resourceful.  I pick up the note to read what she’s written, and about fall over laughing. 

Apparently her book of choice to help her write her letter?  The Bible. 

Exhibit A:

In case you can’t read her writing, it appears she’s written:

“Indeed now your servant has found you peace.  Set. So I born a pigs.  I love Momo.  [Happy Face]”

While I’m not sure where the pig reference is from specifically, the “Indeed now your servant has found you…” is the beginning of Genesis 19:19 (at least that’s the phraseology used in her Precious Moments Bible), which I discovered when googling what she had written to figure out what verse it was.  What’s ironic about this is that Genesis 19:19 is the middle of the passages about Sodom and Gomorrah, so often used as one of the clobber passages against families like ours.  The humor in this must not be overlooked. 

I called Heidi immediately, as she was on her way home, and was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe.  I refused to read her the note on the phone, however, because it was too good not to be able to see her face.  The next morning, she told Julia how much she loved her note and Julia was very proud. 

And for the record? 

She scaled the baby gate to put the note in our room. 

Dammit.

Justice for All

You’d have to be living under a rock not to know that a horrible verdict came down in a horrible case concerning the murder of a little girl named Caylee Anthony.  Like the rest of the world, I’d love to know what the jury was thinking.  Ultimately, that little girl’s mother will have to answer for her actions at some point.

I was discussing the case last night and the conversation turned to media frenzy, rumors of Casey Anthony being pregnant with her attorney’s child, and celebrity.  My theory on it is that the more we turn the cameras on her, even as much of a reviled person she is, the easier it becomes for her to go from pariah to media darling.  Shut off the cameras, ignore her, let her try and walk the streets in public without being recognized.  Her life will not be pleasant, nor should it be.  But if we keep documenting and reporting her every move, every rumor, every detail of her disgusting life, the better the chance is that we’ll turn around one day and she’ll be the next contestant on Dancing With the Stars. 

Even that, though, isn’t what bothers me the most.  What bothers me the most is what nobody really wants to talk about.  Why are we so invested in this case?  Why are we so passionate about “Justice for Caylee?”  I’d love to say that it’s because we are appalled every time a child is abused, murdered, or abducted, and it is patently wrong for us not to be invested in these cases.  I might buy that.  And I think for many of us, that’s true.  This was different though.  This was an incredibly high profile case.  What makes it high profile?  Why does the media grasp on to a story like this and plaster all over every news and social media site until the public is worked into a mob mentality?  What makes this case unique?

It’s not the fact that a child was murdered and then lied about.  It’s not the fact that her grandparents participated in the deception.  It’s not the fact that Casey Anthony clearly is some sort of psychopath who partied while her daughter was denied a death with dignity.  All of those things are awful.  Wrong.  Evil. 

But it helps quite a bit in the court of public opinion that Caylee Anthony was a little white girl with a white mom living in suburban Florida. 

That’s ok.  I’ll sit and wait for the indignation to pass.

Ok, now.  Think about it.  Think about all the high profile kidnapping and child murder cases.  Caylee Anthony, Jaycee Dugard, Madeline McCann, Haleigh Cummings, Brittanee Drexel.  When was the last time a missing African American boy from the inner city made the news? 

Take a trip over to the website for the Center for Missing and Exploited Children.  A quick search for my home state of California reveals 384 missing kids.  125 of them Caucasian.  Less than a third.  Nationally, less than half of missing children are white (44%) And yet the news doesn’t cover the stories of these kids.  The public doesn’t rage at a system that isn’t delivering justice for these kids. 

Recently, in my hometown paper, the story of a young girl who suffered extreme abuse at the hands of her adoptive mother (her biological aunt who took her and her siblings in) came to light.  She’s 19 now, but when she managed to escape her environment, which included severe beatings, broken bones, confinement to a closet, she was 15.  She’d been living with her aunt since she was a small child.  When she finally was treated for her injuries, they documented over 100 active injuries.  Broken bones, healing scars, missing teeth.  The closet she was regularly confined to was barely enough space for her to turn around in.  She was pulled from school by her aunt and apparently there was one CPS visit that didn’t turn up anything (clearly they didn’t look very hard).  She’s 19 now and living on her own with the help of public assistance.  She’s attending college.  Haven’t heard of the story?  No, I thought not.  Lilly Manning is black. 

Why wasn’t the press camped out at the courtroom when Lilly’s aunt and her husband went to trial?  Where was everyone’s righteous indignation then?  Why hasn’t someone demanded justice for Lilly?  She was lucky enough to survive, but so was Jaycee Dugard.  Jaycee Dugard is getting book deals and $20 million from the State of California.  Lilly is living on food stamps.  Yes, every case is different, but clearly there’s a huge disconnect here between the kids who get attention in the media and the kids who don’t.

I’m not saying Caylee Anthony doesn’t deserve our outrage at the lack of justice delivered on her behalf.  I’m saying don’t be lulled into thinking that the kids who get the media attention are the only ones out there.  There are hundreds, if not thousands of kids who deserve justice.  If you learn anything from Caylee Anthony’s case, learn that most kids never get that justice.  It is right for us to be outraged.  It is right for us to be appalled and disgusted that these things happen.  It is right for us to stand up and demand justice.  But we’ve got to stand up and demand justice for all the kids out there and start demanding visibility for the kids who don’t have the benefit of white privilege just as much as those who do.