Danann Tyler

Meet Danann. 

Please take the 51 seconds to meet her in this video first before reading ahead. 

Danann is the sweet daughter of a high school friend of mine.  She’s 9.  If you watch all the clips about Danann you’ll learn that at the age of 4 she was so depressed and despondent living as a boy she threw herself in front of a car.  Think about this for a second.  A four year old child was suicidal.  Can you imagine the amount of pain and heartache she must have been feeling at that time?  This wasn’t a case of mommy and daddy wouldn’t give her a toy she wanted, this wasn’t a temper tantrum over an outfit, this was clinical and serious.

Danann was born a boy.  In her own words, she knew as early as 2 years old that she was supposed to be a girl.  That her outside didn’t match her inside, and the incongruity she was living with every day, even at that young age, was the cause of more emotional turmoil than most of us experience in our lifetime.  Danann is transgender. 

Let’s back up a little bit.  What is transgender?  According to the American Psychological Association, “Transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression, or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.” (http://www.apa.org/topics/sexuality/transgender.aspx) Being transgender doesn’t mean a person is gay, although they can be.  Being gay doesn’t make someone transgender.  At a basic level, being transgender is a state of identity in which a person’s brain is wired for one gender, and a person’s genitalia are wired for another.  Transgender is not the same as cross-dressing. 

This is a very real, very documented state of being.  There have been transgender figures throughout history and you can easily find the research and information by using amazon and google.  That’s not what this post is about. 

This post is about Danann and her acceptance in society as her true self.  We all want to be seen for who we really are.  Regardless of what our individual struggles are, we want people to see us, our authentic selves, and we do our very best every day to present our authentic selves to the world around us.  Danann’s parents were advised from a medical professional that it was in Danann’s best interest to let her present as female much earlier than many transgender kids because of the extreme distress that she was experiencing in being forced to live as a male.  Almost immediately, Danann’s parents could see the difference in their child.  She became happy and engaged in the world around her.  The sparkle came back into her eyes.  And who can blame her?  All you have to do is watch that video up there to see what a joy her presence is in the world. 

One of the things Danann wanted to do was be a Girl Scout.  As we all know, the Girl Scouts preach inclusiveness and diversity in ways the boy scouts never have.  The Girl Scouts would be a perfect place for Danann.  That is, until the CEO of the local girl scouts in Danann’s conservative California county caught wind of Danann’s appearance on Ricki Lake.  Girl Scouts of Orange County, through the CEO, informed Danann’s mother that Danann could not be a full-fledged girl scout.  She could be an “independent” Girl Scout, who would be allowed to go on field trips but not participate in troop meetings or earn badges.  The CEO felt it was her duty to inform other parents in the troop that Danann wasn’t a “real” girl, and told her mother that this was all her fault for their activism in raising awareness about transgender children.  This sort of “separate but equal” treatment of Danann is unacceptable.

Now, lest you think that all Girl Scout councils are created equal, they are not.  A transgender girl in Colorado was allowed to join her local troop.  When Danann’s mother brought this information to the Orange County organization, she was told that all states are different.  So if you are a transgender girl living in Colorado, you have access to the Girl Scouts and everything they provide, but if you’re a transgender girl living in Orange County, California, you’re out of luck.

Let’s be clear.  A 9 year old girl is being denied the opportunity to participate in Girl Scouts because she is different from the other girls.  The Girl Scouts of America publishes a document entitled “The Architecture of Inclusion,” and nowhere in the document does it say that this inclusiveness of the Girl Scouts does not extend to transgender girls.  When you tell a transgender girl that she isn’t a “real” girl, you are perpetuating the myth that she is just playing dress-up, that what she is feeling and dealing with isn't real.  You are telling her she isn’t worthy of being seen as her true self. That she is less than.

40% of transgender adults admit to having attempted suicide.  The same rate in the general population is 1.6%.  Let that sink in.  In a world where kids and adults would rather DIE than live as someone who they are not, don’t you think we have a responsibility to understand these kids?  Don’t you think we have a duty to include them in the walks of life they want to participate in?  Why do we cheer when a girl wants to be on the football or the wrestling team, but we can’t wrap our minds around a little girl wanting to be a girl scout like all of her friends?  Because that’s all this is.  A little girl, who is bright, and erudite, and just happens to have been born in the wrong body, wants to contribute to the world by being a Girl Scout.  What’s so wrong about that?

I want to believe that once the National Girl Scout organization catches wind of this, things will change.  And that’s why I’m posting this.  To get the word out and to hope that someone who can do something for Danann, and all the other girls like her, will read it and take action.

The Girl Scout Law says:

I will do my best to be

honest and fair,

friendly and helpful,

considerate and caring,

courageous and strong, and

responsible for what I say and do,

and to

respect myself and others,

respect authority,

use resources wisely,

make the world a better place, and

be a sister to every Girl Scout.

Honesty.  Fairness.  Respect.  Courage.  I don’t know of another girl who more exemplifies these traits than Danann. 

With or without the Girl Scouts, you make the world a better place, Danann.  If only the rest of us could make the world a better place for you to be, we’d be a lot better off.

If you’re interested in emailing or calling the Girl Scouts of Orange County, the contact information for them can be found here:  http://www.girlscoutsoc.org/who-we-are/staff-directory.